It’s not just chance that I am always wearing some clothing with color, and sometimes A LOT of color all at one time. Neither did I randomly discover the rainbow one day and decide to use it as fashion inspiration. That would be a fun story but that’s not it.
My wearing of color(s) is a deliberate choice I make daily. Every time I put on clothing with color it’s my tip o’ the hat to CHOOSING LIFE.
A year ago when I was still steeped in depression, but pretending I was okay, getting dressed was the worst.thing.ever. Most days the act of keeping myself alive took everything I had.
Then God reached down from Heaven, and shifted my course, and a world of color + hope opened up to me. This wasn’t an overnight miracle but a subtle moving away from darkness and towards God. “It” has been filled with a lot of hard days and a lot of deliberate choices when no feelings or desire (for life) were present.
I know there were so very many people praying and caring and walking along side of me. But that’s another story for another day. Today I want to talk to you about C.O.L.O.R.
Why do I wear so much color?
Because the darkness still taunts me. Because I am not 100% pain free and the nagging-never-ending-sleep-stealing pain leaves me exhausted. Because I frequently stumble in my healing journey but every time I put on clothing with color it’s my tip o’ the hat to CHOOSING LIFE.
Maybe you’ve walked the dark path of depression, are swimming in a pool of grief, struggle with suicidal thoughts, survived abuse, overcame addictions… whatever IT is please remember this – at this very moment, as you read these words, you are still alive. And as long as you are still alive you still have choices. Join me in celebrating my life and your life by choosing to wear some color today.
Some people choose to wear the trending semicolon – on clothing or as a tattoo – because there is power in visible reminders. It’s good to choose something; I’m choosing color.
Wanna play with me? Join me on Instagram (@maritastoltzfus) and tag your pictures #wearcolordaily.