I am a grateful person, I think, but when I get caught up in the striving to protect myself, the frustration of my limitations, and the hoping-to-clean-up my messy life I do a fine dance with discontentment.
And today, when the US of A is getting all grateful on me for lofty things I’m over here thinking, “God, I just want to get through this day in one piece emotionally. And also, it would be nice if I didn’t have to exit the Thanksgiving dinner to dry heave.”
If you’re kinda feeling the same way – more wrapped up in your pain than in gratefulness – it’s okay to be honest about those feelings. But even more important than telling people just choose to tell God where you are at right now. I promise, He won’t be shocked or horrified or surprised. He knows your hurting real bad today (missing the one you love who passed away, wondering if this is your last Thanksgiving because of the grim diagnosis, experiencing heartbreak raw&fresh, suffering more physical pain than you can put words too OR feeling mentally tormented).
So yeah, I’m just a bit strung out between the gratitude and the discontentment this morning but I’m choosing to wear my favorite happy colors, to laugh a lot, and to be grateful for small things. So maybe I do feel like I’m kinda faking the Holiday but I’m doing this because gratitude is the best weapon against discontentment.