Monday’s Confession: Some Days I Don’t Walk Steady

I was flat on my back for 3 days over the weekend; think in-door, in-bed, and staring at a white ceiling. Thanks to my chronic pain journey, and a bad flare-up, I could not walk one.single.step. After a couple days of laying there solo my spontaneous friend drove 4 hours just so she could lie in bed beside me communally staring at the ceiling.

Today I tentatively took my first steps and hobbled out-of-doors to revel in the sunshine and the smell of spring in the air. My friend and I lay on the grass in quietness. My steps were unsteady but my heart was full.

You can look at my weekend in bed and pity me for the pain and the suffering and the laying-flat-on-my-back for days. You could also think about how I spent my Monday and envy me for the lazy, delightful way I got to spend it, and how I had a friend at my beck and call the entire time.

Here’s the thing: I don’t want your pity OR your envy.

We all have days when our steps aren’t so steady (physically, emotionally, spiritually). We all want friends who are willing to drop their lives and drive 4 hours just to stare at the ceiling with us till our world rights itself.

We crave, we strive, we long, we desire; we often go to a lot of effort to diagnose our fickle feelings. What we need most of all in these moments is to get quiet before God and listen to His heart for us. He isn’t surprised when we get wobbly on our feet, or even land flat on our backs. When you are feeling unsteady on your feet (physically, emotionally, spiritually) allow that to be a gentle reminder to turn towards the face of Father God. And know that He is looking at you with eyes of grace and love.

Drop the façade, stop fakin’ the happy, and get quiet before God; He has good things He wants to do in your life. I promise.

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One thought on “Monday’s Confession: Some Days I Don’t Walk Steady”

  1. Marita, this spoke to my heart! Thanks for sharing! I’m learning from you important deep spiritual things. Very grateful for you in my life! Love , Aunt Betty

    Liked by 1 person

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