The word CHOICE/CHOOSE/CHOSE shows up in my blog title and in multiple blogposts. Taking ownership of my choices has been a huge turning point in my journey of pain in the past decade, and a big game changer in everyday life. Continue reading Evaluating My Choice
I was flat on my back for 3 days over the weekend; think in-door, in-bed, and staring at a white ceiling. Thanks to my chronic pain journey, and a bad flare-up, I could not walk one.single.step. After a couple days of laying there solo my spontaneous friend drove 4 hours just so she could lie in bed beside me communally staring at the ceiling. Continue reading Monday’s Confession: Some Days I Don’t Walk Steady
I am a grateful person, I think, but when I get caught up in the striving to protect myself, the frustration of my limitations, and the hoping-to-clean-up my messy life I do a fine dance with discontentment.
And today, when the US of A is getting all grateful on me for lofty things I’m over here thinking, “God, I just want to get through this day in one piece emotionally. And also, it would be nice if I didn’t have to exit the Thanksgiving dinner to dry heave.”
I’ve been fairly silent lately*, at least on Facebook and e-mail. I do continue to max my DWQ (daily word quota) at home though – just ask my family. It has become a Terrible Favorite of mine to start talking and then proceed to see how many sentences I can string together before pausing for air. You can ask my family about that too.
But in the last 24 hours I have been mulling over this paragraph from the Jesus Calling devotional:
Don’t let any circumstances intimidate you. The more challenging your day, the more of My Power I place at your disposal. You seem to think that I empower you equally each day, but this is not so. Your tendency upon awakening is to assess the difficulties ahead of you, measuring them against your average strength. This is an exercise in unreality.” Continue reading When Life Intimidates Me
It’s not just chance that I am always wearing some clothing with color, and sometimes A LOT of color all at one time. Neither did I randomly discover the rainbow one day and decide to use it as fashion inspiration. That would be a fun story but that’s not it.
My wearing of color(s) is a deliberate choice I make daily. Every time I put on clothing with color it’s my tip o’ the hat to CHOOSING LIFE.
A year ago when I was still steeped in depression, but pretending I was okay, getting dressed was the worst.thing.ever. Most days the act of keeping myself alive took everything I had. Continue reading #wearcolordaily
I love people and making new friends and socializing. It’s my nature. But I have a fatal tendency to destroy my best relationships.
No really! I do!
I would love to blame stuff on circumstances or personalities or differences but the reality is that I’m better at making friends than keeping them. And I don’t know how you are but for me I cannot multitask emotionally when under stress. Someone always gets cut. Or burnt or hurt. Continue reading Monday’s Confessions: I’ve Handled Relationships Poorly
I expected a lot of things about the 30’s. I mean, I didn’t enter my 20’s thinking: hey, I’m going to create a really odd belief system about people older than me. No, the things just came to me through my culture and the people I socialized with and the way I tried to blend in with what I thought might be “normal”. Funny thing is I didn’t realize till now just how silly they were: Continue reading On Expectations and Turning 30
A year ago today I swallowed my last pill from a cocktail of ES prescription painkillers/antidepressants/muscle relaxants which I had been on for a very long time. I was promptly thrown into a hellish withdrawal Continue reading Don’t Walk Alone